


Feeling So Lost

by striking_stroll18



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Formula 2 RPF
Genre: But also, Established Relationship, Gen, Getting Together, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Secret Crush, Sharing a Room, oblivious boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27580700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/striking_stroll18/pseuds/striking_stroll18
Summary: Marcus, Juan, Callum, Mick, Robert and Jüri spend some time together. As usual, chaos ensues.
Relationships: Callum Ilott & Mick Schumacher, Juan Manuel Correa/Jüri Vips, Marcus Armstrong & Jüri Vips, Marcus Armstrong/Callum Ilott, Mick Schumacher/Robert Shwartzman
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39
Collections: Motorsport Autumn Fic Exchange 2020





	Feeling So Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Schneekristall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schneekristall/gifts).



> I really hope you will enjoy this! As you know, this slightly escalated length-wise but I hope it's still good.  
> Thank you & the others for sprinting with me on discord! 🤗  
> Title is from "Feeling So Lost" by Gio Dara

Marcus had been looking forward to this day for weeks now. During the summer break, he, Callum, Mick, Robert, Jüri, and Juan decided to spend time together in their off time in October. Since they were all in the US for one reason or another, they decided to rent a house there. They didn't want to decide what to do precisely, but they would find something to do. Marcus was excited to spend some time with his friends (of course, also his boyfriend, but they saw each other more often). In the airplane seat next to him, Callum was watching a film with his headphones on. Sighing, Marcus dropped his head on Callum's shoulder. The Brit smiled at him, pausing the movie, and taking his headphones off.  
"Everything alright?" he asked his boyfriend in a low voice. Marcus nodded and closed his eyes. "Yeah, I can't wait to get off this plane." Callum chuckled lightly and intertwined his fingers with his boyfriend's slightly shorter ones. "You should take a nap. We're going to be stuck here for a few more hours. Also, I know you haven't slept much in the last few days." Marcus shrugged but did indeed close his eyes. He felt Callum putting his headphones back on, but their fingers stayed intertwined. Carefully caressing the Kiwi's hand, Callum watched his boyfriend fall asleep on his shoulder. Only when he was sure that Marcus was sleeping, he started to watch the film again.

***

A few hours later, Marcus and Callum stepped out of the airport with their luggage, looking around for three familiar mops of blonde hair accompanied by a mop of black hair. Marcus and Callum were the last two of them to arrive, so their friends had agreed to pick them up from the airport. Not long after, Marcus spotted Robert and Juan, but Jüri and Mick were nowhere around. The couple walked over to the other two men, who soon spotted them, too, and waved at them. "Hey, guys, I hope your flight was alright? The other two have decided to wait at the house", Robert greeted them. "Yeah,  
I think they both didn't want to get up at 6 am on their off days", Juan added grinning. Marcus and Callum laughed. They were surprised any of them decided to get up that early in the morning for them. "I can imagine. As much as I like you guys, I wouldn't do that either", Marcus grinned.  
Bantering, the four men went to the car Robert and Juan arrived with at the airport. They loaded Marcus and Callum's luggage into the trunk and got inside the vehicle, with the couple taking a seat in the back. Juan got into the driver's seat and started the engine. "Dibs on choosing the music", the dark-haired man exclaimed then. All three other men in the car groaned, Juan wasn't known for his excellent music taste. But actually, neither were they. Well, maybe, Callum. But just maybe. Juan started playing music over his phone and set up the satnav before he started pulling out of the parking lot. It would take them almost two hours to get to the house they rented, so to escape Juan's terrible music, Robert and Callum decided to sleep for a bit. Marcus couldn't sleep, so he looked out of the window, talking to Juan about the latest development in their lives.  
"So, how's your crush going? You're still not going to tell me who it is?" Marcus asked curiously after a while. Not so long ago, Juan had mentioned that he was interested in someone but had refused to tell the Kiwi who it was. A faint blush covered Juan's cheeks, and he refused to answer for a few seconds. "Oh whatever, it's not like you wouldn't find out soon anyway...", the driver mumbled to himself. He checked if Robert and Callum were sleeping. Only then he made eye contact with Marcus through the rearview mirror and started talking "It is Jüri. It's been Jüri all along. But he doesn't know, and I'd like to keep it that way." Nodding in understanding, Marcus smiled. "To be completely honest, I was already suspecting it. But you have my word. I won't tell anybody about it. After all, it's not my place to talk about your crush." It had always been clear to Marcus that there was something between Juan and the other man. There was a spark to their interactions that reminded Marcus of himself and Callum before they were dating. "Thanks, Marcus", Juan said, concentrating on the road intensely, almost avoiding Marcus. "Another thing I'll be honest about here: you two are not the only ones I suspect something more between them." Immediately, Juan got the hint. "You mean Rob and Mick?" Marcus nodded, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.  
"There is something odd between them. I can't quite say if it's only the unresolved sexual tension or if something happened between Robert and Mick. Either way, they're both too proud or too scared to admit it", Marcus said chuckling while rolling his eyes. "You should have seen them when they arrived two days ago. In the beginning, they wouldn't even talk to each other. But I think they're both still in denial", Juan told Marcus. Silence erupted between the two men. Marcus lost in thought, looking at Callum next to him. Juan was focused on the road ahead, but also thinking. "You think one of us should talk to them? I think they could use it, talking usually is helpful", Marcus asked suddenly. Juan shrugged. "I'm not sure. I don't think we should be meddling with anybody's love life", he said after a few minutes of consideration. Now Marcus was the one who shrugged, his view going out of the window again. They were passing many fields, as they had decided to go to the rural countryside, so there was less chance of being recognised. Most of it was corn, and suddenly they passed a sign advertising a corn maze. "I've never been in a maze, especially not a corn maze", Marcus suddenly mumbled excitedly. "You think we can convince the others we should go there?", Juan grinned. "I hope so. But I'll even go alone, I really want to go there", Marcus said confidently. Juan laughed at that. "What's so funny?" Robert's sleepy voice suddenly interrupted Juan's laughter. "Marcus really wants to go to the corn maze we just passed", Juan explained. It seemed to wake the Russian up, his eyes starting to glow. "I'm in. I always wanted to do that", he exclaimed enthusiastically. "I'm surrounded by madmen", Callum suddenly sighed from the back seat, none of the other three men had realised that the Brit was awake. "Seriously, why would anybody deliberately enter a maze where the whole point is to get lost", Callum continued talking. "It's a corn maze, it's supposed to be fun, it's basically impossible to get lost", Juan explained, shaking his head. "Again, madmen. All of you", Callum repeated. The three other men in the car started to laugh, and the rest of the way was spent fooling around with each other.

When they came to a halt in front of the rented house, it was close to 11 am. Laughing, they all exited the car, and Marcus and Callum retrieved their luggage from the trunk. Juan had the keys to the house, so he was the first one at the door. Just when he was about to unlock it, Mick and Jüri enthusiastically opened the door.  
"Finally! I'm starving, Mick wouldn't let me have breakfast without you!", Jüri complained as soon as the door opened and had revealed their four friends. "Hello to you too", Marcus laughed and walked into the house. Juan, Robert and Callum followed him inside. "Good to see you guys again", Mick said and hugged Callum and Marcus in greeting after they had put their suitcases aside. He also greeted Juan and Robert, but only gave them a smile instead of a hug. "Can we please have breakfast now that you're here? Please?" Jüri seemed really desperate for food, and if the five other men were honest, they were hungry as well. "Your room is upstairs, second door to the left", Mick explained to Callum and Marcus before adding, "While you get your stuff upstairs, we will set the table for breakfast in the meantime." The two newly arrived men nodded, and while the four others went into the kitchen, they manoeuvred their suitcases upstairs. The stairs were really narrow, so it was quite tricky to do that. At some point, Callum got stuck about halfway on the stairs. It resulted in the couple laughing manically for a minute and Jüri coming out of the kitchen to check on them. After a little less than 10 minutes, they had finally arrived in their room. Neither Marcus nor Callum wanted to make the others wait any longer, so they immediately went to the kitchen as soon as they were done.  
The six friends enjoyed breakfast, all of them catching up with each other. When they were done eating, they kept sitting at the table. "Has anybody got any ideas on what to do this week? I know we said we'd decide spontaneously, but maybe someone has an idea already?" It was Mick who asked this question, yet again proving why he was considered the responsible one of their friend group. Juan and Marcus looked at each other, a mischievous glint in their eyes. "On the way here I saw a sign for a corn maze", Marcus replied nonchalantly, curious to find out how the others would react. "I feel like a broken record, but let me repeat my words from earlier. Marcus, you are crazy. Also, Juan, stop encouraging him", Callum sighed. The latter addressed man raised his eyebrows.  
"Nah, I don't think so. In fact, I vote we go there", Juan replied cheekily. At that, Robert and Marcus burst out laughing, Juan soon joining in their laughter. "I agree with Juan, we should go there. It sounds fun", Mick said after some time, Jüri nodding along in agreement. "Come on, please don't be a party pooper, Cal. I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think", Marcus tried to convince his boyfriend of the idea. Callum looked at his friends' and boyfriend's excited faces and sighed again. "Fine, all of you better not get lost when we're there though."

***

The first day was spent hanging out at their rented place so that they were all able to get used to the timezone. The next day after lunch, the six men were getting ready to leave for the corn maze. Callum still wasn't a fan of the idea, but he also didn't want the others to go alone. He knew about his boyfriend's habit of getting lost in the paddock. Not only Marcus had an unusual talent of getting lost, but the same was also true for Jüri, Juan and Robert. Callum and Mick were already ready to go, while the others were still not ready yet.  
"Marcus really appreciates it that you're coming along, you know", Mick commented while they were waiting on the porch for their friends to be done. When Callum didn't know what to answer, Mick continued talking in a low voice, "Sometimes, I regret being so stubborn. If I had been less stubborn, I wouldn't be on my own anymore."  
"Is this about you and Robert?" Callum made sure to be as quiet as Mick, his friend seemed like he didn't want the others inside to hear them. "What happened between you?", Callum asked when Mick nodded. The other man shrugged, before mumbling, "I don't want to talk about it."  
"Okay, I respect that. Just know that you can talk to me if there is anything you want to talk about", the Brit answered comfortingly, shooting his friend a smile. "Thanks for the offer", Mick whispered back.  
Just when he had finished talking, the door opened, and the other four men stepped out of the house. "Finally", Mick said and rolled his eyes. "I'm driving!", Marcus suddenly exclaimed while snatching the car keys from Juan. Then he sprinted towards the car, while Juan still hadn't really processed what just happened. "Shotgun!" With that, Jüri was running after Marcus. Only now, the remaining four men seemed to realise why their friends were so eager to get into the car. One of them had to sit in the third seat row, more or less the trunk to be honest. Juan, Callum, Mick and Robert looked at each other before they all started running at the same time. It was only a short way to the car, but Marcus and Jüri watched along in amusement as their friends raced each other on foot. Surprisingly, Juan and Mick arrived first, both of them reaching the car at the same time. Robert had struggled with getting down the stairs, they were only broad enough for three people to use them at the same time. Despite having the longest legs, he was a little behind the three others, Callum arriving in third.  
"Are we ready to go now that we know who has to ride in the trunk?" It was Marcus who asked this, amusement clear in his voice. Their friends nodded, Robert getting inside the car with a slightly frustrated look on his face, but the Russian didn't complain. Having pity with his friend, Callum got inside the car next to Robert, sitting down in the second seat there. Once they were seated, the other four men sat down in the car too. "You're getting slower", Marcus teased Robert, the two of them usually battling on the racetrack. "You wish", he replied grumpily, looking out of the window.  
In the meantime, Marcus had started driving down the road, the radio lowly playing in the background. The four men in the first two rows began talking excitedly, all of them looking forward to the corn maze. To Callum's confusion, Robert wasn't participating in the conversation, despite being one of the first ones to say yes to the labyrinth. Instead of talking with them, he was looking on his hands in his lap, lost in thought.  
'Hey, what's wrong? Don't take what Marcus said too hard', Callum texted the man next to him.  
'It's got nothing to do with that', Robert replied in the same way when he read the message.  
'Then what's going on? What happened?'  
'It's nothing. Forget about it.'  
'Come on, man. I can see something is bothering you.'  
For a few minutes, there was no reply. By now, Marcus had caught on the text conversation between the two men in the last row. Looking questioningly at his boyfriend through the rearview mirror, all he received was a shrug. Next to Callum, Robert sighed quietly before he started typing.  
'It's because of Mick. It hasn't been the same between us for a few weeks now. And now he pretends that nothing ever happened.'  
Callum's suspicion was confirmed. Something had happened between Robert and Mick that none of their friends knew about.  
'Have you tried talking to him?'  
'More than once. But you know what Mick is like. He's incredibly stubborn sometimes.'  
Immediately, Callum remembered the conversation he had with the German earlier.  
'Have you tried talking to him since we arrived here? Maybe he just needed some time to process whatever happened between you.'  
The Brit really hoped than Rob and Mick would be able to talk it out, and he tried to give Robert a hint that they should talk. When there was no reply, Callum typed out another text.  
'You said it yourself, he's stubborn. But he's not an idiot. If you tell him that what happened between you is bothering you, he will talk to you. And I think you know that yourself.'  
Robert sighed again, shrugging and looking at the back of Mick's head with something Callum would describe as longing. He hesitated before writing the next text.  
'What did even happen between you? If you want to talk about. You know I wouldn't judge you, whatever it is.'  
Callum watched his friend read the message, a blush appearing on his pale face. Curiously, he waited for Rob to finish typing, but he was distracted by Jüri asking him, "Callum, why didn't you want to go to the corn maze?"  
"I don't get why I would intentionally go somewhere to get lost", the Brit replied. It really was a mystery he could simply not understand. "If anybody here gets lost while we're there, I officially declare them the group idiot. You can't get actually lost in a corn maze", Mick chirped up. Callum felt his phone buzz in his hand and saw Robert put his phone down in the corner of his eye. He must have finished his message, Callum thought.  
"How about we make two groups? To settle the 'Can you get lost in a corn maze or not' discourse", Juan suggested. In the front seats, Marcus and Jüri looked at each other, before saying in unison, "We're taking Rob with us."  
Nobody objected the two men, so it was settled. They would make two groups. But if any of them would have thought more about it, they would have realised that their groups weren't exactly smart. Why else would they put the three people who could get lost anywhere in one group?  
When the other four were lost in their conversation again, Callum remembered the unread message he still had.  
The Brit unlocked his phone, reading the message with Robert's observing eyes on him.  
'Well, a few weeks ago, we went to a club together. Both of us ended up drinking too much. And then we made out.'  
Callum didn't quite know what he expected, but it was certainly not that.  
'That explains a lot, to be honest. But is there anything more behind it?'  
'I don't know. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about Mick either. And it's not helping that we're sharing a room.'  
'I can imagine. Did you ever feel that way about somebody else before?'  
Unbeknownst to Callum and Robert, they had arrived at the corn maze. The Russian didn't have time to type an answer anymore. He was only able to shake his head, mouthing "no", while he got out of the car. Callum quickly shot him a knowing and comforting smile. Thankfully, nobody had realised their exchange right now, so that they didn't have to explain what it was about.

The men bought their tickets and walked to the entrance. Before entering the maze, they listened to the man at the entry not to walk through the corn or harm it otherwise. He also gave each group a walkie talkie they could use to communicate with the staff in case of an emergency. After that, Callum, Mick and Juan entered the maze. They had agreed that the others would wait five minutes before following them inside. When Callum was sure that their three other friends were out of earshot, he stopped in his tracks. "You're both idiots", he said then said. "What are you talking about? What did we do? Sorry if we said something wrong", Juan answered confusedly, and Mick didn't know what he was on about either. "Are you both blind?" Callum couldn't believe that their friends hadn't realised what was going on yet. "You both think that your situation is hopeless, or that you screwed up. But you're both wrong. You're not the only ones who feel the way you do. But you need to be honest with them. Talk to them", Callum explained calmly. He never thought he would ever meddle in another person's love life, but here he was. While he held his short monologue, Juan and Mick seemed to begin to understand. Both of them looked to the ground, Mick mumbling, "I really was an idiot, wasn't I?"  
To his surprise, Callum and Juan nodded. "You were as much of an idiot as me, and additionally I was a coward", Juan remarked. "Well, I was both. Before Marcus and I got together, I mean. Come on, let's hurry so you can stop being idiots and cowards. You shouldn't have to wait longer than necessary." Callum was glad that his friends weren't mad at him, and together they continued their way out of the maze.

About an hour later, Callum, Mick and Juan of stepped out of the maze again. They had ended up in a few dead ends, but they found their way out of the labyrinth. It only proved Mick's and Juan's point that it was impossible to get lost in a corn maze. "Hopefully they don't take too long, I'm starving", Juan said, sitting down on a bench next to the exit. "Same here. I could also use some water", Mick agreed verbally, while Callum only nodded. He checked his phone, maybe they had taken too long, and the others were waiting at the car. It was close to 5 pm, their drive to the corn maze had taken longer than they thought it would take, but none of them complained. Callum had to admit that it was more fun than he gave it credit beforehand. There was a particular thrill behind going somewhere and not knowing where to next.  
For a short while, neither of the three men said something, all of them thinking about what Callum said to them right after they entered the maze. "Guys, are you really not mad at me?" Callum knew that some people didn't like it when other people meddled in their love life, even if the person had good intentions. "No, I'm not mad. In fact, I'm thankful for what you said. I think it was my wakeup call", Mick answered first. "Yeah, I'm not mad at you either. As Mick said, it was a wakeup call. I don't want to hide my feelings anymore. And even if you're not right about me not being the only one with these feelings, he deserves to know the truth."  
The silence stretched out between them again. After a few minutes, Juan had had enough of the quiet, so he began talking about what else they could do while they were here.

***

At the same time, Jüri was running his hands through his hair in frustration. "We have passed this turn at least 3 times now! We're running in circles", he groaned. "No, we're not. This is a corn maze. Every turn looks the same." It was Robert who tried to argue with the Estonian, while Marcus was just quietly standing next to them, deep in thought. "We will find our way out of the maze. We're not lost", Marcus tried to say as convincing as possible. It didn't really work, it more sounded like a question. "Are we sure we tried every possible way whenever there were multiple ones? We must have missed one." Once again, it was Jüri who was the most analytical of them. "I should have never agreed to go with you two", Robert mumbled quietly. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
Marcus asked furiously. He was really frustrated, and Robert's comment didn't help with keeping cool in the situation. "All I'm saying is that all of us get lost very easily. But Jüri's right. We must have missed a turn." Marcus felt ashamed when Robert explained himself. He should not have thought that Robert had not meant any harm with what he said at first. Yet he had reacted angrily, which Robert didn't deserve. "Hey, Rob, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have become mad at you", Marcus apologised honestly. His ex-teammate just shrugged, not looking at him. "It's okay. I should have said what I meant with it immediately. Can we now try to find our way out?"  
Both Jüri and Marcus nodded, the three men deciding to turn left. So they could be sure that they wouldn't run in circles and without noticing, Marcus made a mark in the ground with his left foot.

***

It took them another 30 minutes to get to the exit, but shortly before they reached it, Marcus stopped his friends. "No word about our hopelessness to them, alright?" He knew Callum and Mick wouldn't shut up about it if they knew. "Wouldn't cross my mind to mention it to them", Jüri grinned. "Oh, you know, I actually wanted to shout at them how hopeless we were at some point", Robert said teasingly. "Why don't you make a social media announcement, to let everyone know", Marcus replied equally teasing. He was glad that Robert was back to his usual self again. They passed the last few turns without troubles. Immediately, they spotted Callum, Mick and Juan waiting for them just outside the maze.  
"There you are! We've been waiting for more than an hour already", Mick greeted them with a relieved smile, looking at each of them. His eyes lingered on Robert for a little longer than on the other two men. "We were beginning to think that you got lost. Or that something else happened", Juan agreed. "It just took us some time to find the right way. But it's all part of the fun", Marcus replied while walking over to his boyfriend. Callum wrapped his arms around Marcus, giving him a short kiss. "Told you you could get lost in a corn maze", he said when they parted, a teasing glint to his eyes. "We weren't lost", Marcus grumbled, playfully punching his boyfriend's arm. "Whatever you say, darling."  
They made their way to the car before Juan brought up what Mick, Callum, and he had discussed when they first left the maze. "I could use something to eat, what about y'all?" All of them agreed with him, so everyone hurried to get inside the vehicle. "So where to now? Should we drive to the nearby town and eat in a restaurant there? Or should we go back?" It was Marcus who had asked this question since he was the one driving again. "I think we should head back to the house, we still got plenty of food there", Mick said. If he was fair, it was not only so they wouldn't waste food. If they went back to the house, Mick could talk to Robert earlier without being disturbed. Nobody else said something against what Mick had said, so Marcus started driving back to the house.  
About halfway, Robert's phone buzzed. Questioningly, he looked at Callum next to him, thinking that he had texted him again like earlier. Callum looked at him, confused, so Robert held up his phone and raised his eyebrows. The Brit still didn't understand what Robert wanted from him, shaking his head to tell him that. The Russian shrugged then, looking at his phone to see what Callum had texted him. To his surprise, it hadn't been Callum. Instead had been Mick who had sent him a text. 'We need to talk' read the message. He probably wanted to tell him that he didn't want anything to do with him anymore. He must have figured out that Rob wanted more from him than just friendship. The Russian swallowed hard, before slowly typing back 'sure'. In the front, Marcus and Jüri were talking animatedly. Juan looked out of the window and Mick down on his phone. Callum had closed his eyes now, resting his head against the window, listening to the conversation Marcus and Jüri had.  
They spent the rest of the ride like this, and once they reached the house, Marcus and Callum volunteered to cook dinner. Or rather, Callum volunteered for both of them. After objecting at first, Marcus finally got the hint and agreed to cook dinner with his boyfriend. While the other four men went into their rooms, Marcus and Callum went into the kitchen. "Alright, so what was that all about", Marcus wanted to know of Callum. "I can't exactly tell you. But I think they need some privacy. There are some things they need to talk about"; Callum replied cryptically. They got out the ingredients they needed for dinner, when Callum clarified, "I used the opportunity in the maze to give Juan and Mick a push in the right direction." Marcus nodded slowly in understanding, mouthing "Oh".

While the two boyfriends made dinner, Juan and Jüri had gone into the bedroom they shared. Silence surrounded them, and it never felt so awkward between them. Jüri ran his hands over his thighs, he didn't know why but he was really nervous, his palms all sweaty. Juan was looking for the right words to start the inevitable conversation they needed to have at some point. "Jüri, we need to talk", was what the black-haired man went for. Unfortunately, it only made Jüri more nervous. The blonde man found it more and more difficult to breathe, his vision blurring with tears.  
Juan immediately noticed that he made a mistake with what he said, and he felt terrible for giving his friend a panic attack. Because that was what his friend was experiencing right now. It wasn't the first panic attack Jüri had when Juan was around, but it never was because of Juan.  
"Jüri. Hey, Jüri, look at me", Juan tried to get his friend's attention. Jüri was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the floor. His breath was going faster and faster, he struggled to get oxygen into his lungs. Juan knelt on the floor in front of Jüri, and he took the man's hands in his. He put one hand on his own chest and the other one on Jüri's chest. "Jüri, just focus on your breathing, okay? Breathe with me"; Juan said calmly, taking deep breaths before exhaling slowly. For a few minutes, all they did was breathe together, and slowly but surely, Jüri's breathing became slower again, and his eyes focused on Juan. "There you go", Juan murmured with a soft smile, the hand that rested over Jüri's on the other man's chest before now moved to caress Jüri's cheek. His thumb tenderly wiped away the tears Jüri had shed unnoticed to both men. "I'm sorry", the blonde man whispered brokenly. "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. I should have realised it wasn't a good way to start this conversation", Juan replied. He looked at Jüri with a soft look and his thumb still gently stroking over Jüri's cheek. They kept staring into each other's eyes, getting lost in them. "Jüri..."  
Juan's voice was barely a whisper, almost inaudible to hear. "I think I love you", the black-haired man continued as quietly as before. "Oh", Jüri said almost inaudibly. Juan was just about to get up when Jüri woke from his stare and said, "Good." He leant down until he was face to face with Juan. He slowed his movement just before they lips met and looked at the older man for permission. Instead of replying, Juan just closed the gap between their faces, their mouths meeting in a soft kiss. Jüri tasted of the chewing gum he had earlier, and salt from the tears he had cried a few minutes ago. Their lips fitted against each other almost perfectly, and Juan wished their kiss would never end. Their lips glided over each other, Juan getting up from the floor and sitting down next to Jüri on the bed. At the same time, Jüri's hands found their way into Juan's hair. When Juan was sitting on the mattress, he rested his hands on Jüri's waist and cheek. When the need for air became too strong, they broke apart and rested their foreheads against each other. Both of them had smiles on their faces, neither opening his eyes, they couldn't even remember when they had closed them.  
"I hope this was good, too?", Juan smirked, still a bit breathless. "Are you kidding? This was the best kiss I've ever had", Jüri replied, finally opening his eyes. Juan opened his eyes, too, once again getting lost in Jüri's blue ones. "I love you, Juan", Jüri whispered after a few seconds. "I love you, Jüri", Juan repeated, before closing the gap between them again. Their second kiss was still gentle, if not as tender as their first one. Neither knew yet how or what they would tell their friends. But that was unimportant to them at this moment, all that counted was that they had each other.

As soon as the six friends had come back to their rented house, Robert and Mick had gone upstairs into the room. Just when Mick opened his mouth to speak, Robert mumbled, "I will take a shower, let me know when dinner is ready." He quickly grabbed some random clothes and a bath towel before disappearing from the bedroom again. Mick only watched in silence how the door fell into its lock, only sighing when the door had closed behind Rob. As soon as Rob was in the hallway, silent tears began to escape his eyes. He didn't want to lose his friend. But Robert knew it was only going to delay what was going to happen inevitably. When he reached the bathroom, he locked the door behind himself, his tears still falling. He angrily wiped them off, but more tears started to fall. Still crying, the Russian began to undress before getting under the water.  
Back in their bedroom, Mick hadn't yet made a sound since Robert left the room. When he heard the water being turned on, Mick walked over to the bed. He let himself fall down face-first, before punching the mattress and screaming into the pillow. Mick had messed up, Robert didn't want anything to do with him anymore. And he couldn't blame Rob. He had been an idiot, no, more than that. A total jerk, that was what Mick had been. He had ignored Robert for days, almost weeks, and when they did talk again, Mick had always changed the subject when the other man wanted to talk about what happened between them.  
Mick didn't know how much time had passed since Robert left when the bedroom door opened again. Mick didn't look up to see who had walked in, it was probably Callum or Marcus to tell him dinner was ready. He was surprised to hear the soft voice of Robert behind him, his accent more evident than usual.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left like that", he said calmly. At that, Mick sat up, looking at the man in front of him. "You don't need to be sorry. I should be the one that is sorry. I was a total jerk", Mick replied, shaking his head. His voice was hoarse from screaming into the pillow, and he had marks on his face where the fabric was pressed to his face. But Mick also noticed how puffy Robert's eyes looked. "Are you okay?"  
The German wanted to be sure he hadn't messed up so worse than he thought. "I don't know", Robert said quietly. He put his old clothes into a laundry bag to distract himself from answering. He drew a breath in, hesitating before continuing to talk. "I guess, no. I'm not okay." Mick closed his eyes in regret, lowering his head. "I'm so sorry, Robert. I don't know what I can do to make it up to you. If there even is something", Mick's voice was full of regret, he had messed up badly. "Just say that you don't want to see me again, or whatever you can say to break my heart even more", Robert spoke bitterly, once again, tears forming in his eyes. Before they could be shed, he blinked them away angrily. For a few seconds, Mick couldn't do anything but stare at Rob. His mind couldn't process what the other man had said. When he finally understood what he had heard, Mick got up from the bed. "I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I didn't want to see you anymore." The older man paused before he continued speaking. "It's actually the opposite. I... I know I didn't show you that. But I promise you, it's the truth. I didn't want my feelings to be true, so I tried to ignore them. But while doing so, I pushed you away. And I shouldn't have done that." Again. Mick paused, and Robert waited silently for him to continue, his eyes beginning to display something different than sadness - hope.  
"For the last few weeks, that night - the kiss - has been all I could think about whenever I saw you. And even when you weren't around it was all I thought about." For a few seconds, there was silence between them. "I felt the same way", Robert admittedly quietly. With a few long steps, Mick walked over to the other man. He looked up at Rob, placing a hand on his face. "I think I really like you", Mick whispered. The man in front of him seemed taken aback for the shortest moment, but then he whispered, "I think I really like you, too."  
After that, neither of them moved, since Mick nor Robert were sure what to do now. They were still looking into each other's eyes when Robert mumbled, "Oh, whatever." He leaned down until he was face to face with Mick. Not stopping for a millisecond, Rob pressed his lips onto Mick's in a passionate but delicate kiss. Both men's eyes fluttered shut, this was nothing like the kisses they shared before. They were entirely sober. They both put the feelings they couldn't and didn't dare to express into the kiss. After a few seconds, Robert drew back again. "Okay, I definitely like you", Mick laughed out when their lips parted. His breath ghosted over the Russian's lips, and he had to hold himself back from kissing Robert before he had the chance to answer. "Well, fortunately, I like you, too", Rob whispered back, putting one hand on Mick's face and the other hand on his waist. "Indeed, very fortunate", Mick replied, his voice just a whisper. He got up on his tiptoes and softly kissed Robert again.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and Juan was standing in the open door.  
"Uh... Sorry, I should have knocked", he stuttered, a blush creeping up his neck. Mick and Robert had parted as soon as they heard somebody open the door, but Juan knew what they had been doing. He turned to leave, but then he remembered why he had come to their room in the first place. "Callum told me that dinner's almost ready." With an equally red face on his face, Robert replied, "We'll be down in a minute. Oh, and Juan? We obviously weren't the only ones. You might want to sort out your hair."  
Mick chuckled, watching Juan gape like a fish on the dry when Robert patted his shoulder before the Russian flopped down on the bed, checking his phone. Juan's blush intensified before he left the room, closing the door behind him. "So, what now?"  
Mick looked expectantly at Robert while asking him this question. "Well, what do you what", Robert asked back. He had played it cool while Juan was around, but now that it was only them again, it was clear he was more nervous than he had shown earlier. "I want to try this with you. Once we're out of here, I'd like to go out with you. On a date", Mick said confidently. Robert smiled gently at him, putting his phone away and getting up from the bed. "Sounds very nice", he said softly while walking over to Mick. "I think we should really get downstairs", the German whispered. "Yeah, I guess you're right." They shared a quick kiss before intertwining their fingers. "Let's go. We shouldn't let the others wait too long", Mick smiled, and Robert nodded in agreement. They didn't have the best start, but they were going to be okay.

In fact, all six of the were going to be okay.


End file.
